Tonight You Step Away From Me

Song: Walk Like a Man
Album: Tunnel of Love
Year: 1987

People (well, baby boomers) love sharing memories in the Youtube comments of Springsteen songs. I think it's because they have kids who won't let them sign up for Facebook. Usually they're reminiscing about fooling around at Makeout Point (in a car, as the Good Bruce intended), but in the "Walk Like a Man" chat zone, everybody is just hanging out and being sad about their dead parents. So, yeah, not exactly a party jam over here.

Am I even allowed to criticize this? It's about a man mourning his dad and also I have no training in the musical arts (in case that was not abundantly clear in the last 20 posts). I'm trying to have some sympathy, but I just don't know if being sad about losing someone is a good enough excuse for an extended metaphor about "footprints in the sand."

...Oh, god, I feel like a monster for thinking that. Just do what you want Bruce! I'm so sorry for your loss! Talk about how you've "grown from a seed he's sown" as much as you want! If that revolting phrase helps you honour the memory of your late father, then YOU NEVER HAVE TO STOP.

Rating: 4 sad synths out of 10.

This song makes me feel: like Bruce needs a hug.

Fun Bruce fact: Wikipedia lists six songs with the title "Walk Like a Man." Grand Funk Railroad's is probably the best. Maybe I should start a GFR blog next?


I Got Some Beer and the Highway's Free

Song: Sherry, DarlingAlbum: The River Year: 1980

Well this is all a lot of raucous fun, but if my boyfriend abandoned my mother on the highway—my unemployed mother, who is obviously having a tough go of it as it is—I would not be all revved up to go have a fun night of drinking and driving with him. Also, it seems like part of his plan for this romantic date is to go ogle girls at the beach. Who is this guy? How did we wind up together? I've made some huge mistakes and need to seriously re-evaluate my life choices.

It reminds me of that Jimmy Soul song, "If You Wanna Be Happy." Both appear to be recorded in front of a live studio audience who are having the best time hearing about women being belittled. I choose to believe that Bruce is in a bit of a character for this one: the Springsteen Id, if you will. Real Bruce doesn't build up this anger and anxiety over familial responsibility; he does what he needs to do (help a down-on-her-luck woman collect a meagre unemployment allowance to help her scrape by as she looks for more work in this economy) and releases any tension out over a sweet sax solo. LIKE A MAN.

Rating: 6 out of 10 blocks that Big Mean Bruce Springsteen made an elderly woman walk in the hot sun.

This makes me feel: like rolling my eyes at the cliche of the big-mouth mother-in-law, but in a way that's secretly in-time to the music because it's just a good song and we all know eyeballs just can't resist a groove.

Fun Bruce fact: Another Bruce Springsteen blog, Burgers and Bruce, reports on The Boss's fave way to dress a 'burg: "A burger in 1950s America. It's nothing like what you get now. A thin little patty, squirted with ketchup, and that's the only type of burger there was." This is the kind of investigative journalism I can get behind.